Since I was so whiney the other day, it seems only fitting to post the Sunday before the day a tribute to Thanks – Giving.
I have been blessed in so many ways. I had the warmth and security of a home in my formative years and still have the same home to return to. I had and still have parents who love me and siblings who would admit they loved me if left on the rack long enough. My family was never rich, but my working class dad provided more than adequately for us and all three of us children graduated college with the minimum of a Bachelors degree. Mom cooked, shopped, cleaned and did laundry and rarely complained. She still does. I’m twenty-five years younger and sick to death of it. Not sure how she did it all those years. Our house was filled with laughter and music. Not a bad way to grow up.
In my own home, we’ve not been blessed with riches, but in many ways that is a blessing in itself. We are not slaves to jobs or things. There is great freedom in that. Freedom to appreciate the best things in life. A baby’s belly laugh. Inside jokes that make my daughter laugh so hard she snorts. Snow on the nose of a Labrador. The warmth of a thick afghan. Scents of apple pies, oatmeal bread, chocolate chip cookies. Kisses on the cheek from my ten-year-old boy and strong hugs from my college one. My daughter’s inverted wordings that send us into spasms. A cat curled in your lap as you read a good book.
I have been blessed with church family all my life. People who can drive me crazy, but are loyal and true. Like St. Bernards without the brandy or slobber.
I am blessed to have been born into a country where there are freedoms and opportunities denied so many.
And, I am blessed to be living on this beautiful planet with its rich colors, vibrant breezes, stunning landscapes and ever-changing wonder.
And that Charlie Brown is that Thanks-Giving is all about.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Post Birthday Blues
November 19… Nov. 19….. Nov. 19th ….
OK, perhaps an infantile obsession, but I always loved seeing my birthday in print. Loved being in school on my birthday so I could write November 19th on my papers and later as heading to notes. Even out in the real world, loved writing it on letters, checks, logs… I mean, it is just the coolest of days. :)
I just always loved my birthday. It was the day I was ‘special’.
Birthdays ROCKED!
So, it’s no surprise when I got married and later had kids, I went all out, even stressed out to make sure they had ‘special’ days. Birthdays are a big deal in our house. Everyone’s birthday but mine. And hence, the post birthday blues.
I know pity parties are attended by one, but, every year I’m left wondering - Where did I go wrong? I raised my kids to celebrate birthdays, theirs, their siblings, their father’s… Why then has it evolved to the point where no forethought is brought into mine?
It was always difficult when the kids were little. Self-absorbed alcoholics don’t plan well. Don’t get cakes when they don’t like cake, don’t decorate and don’t think about taking kids to the store to buy mom presents, at least before the day itself. Every year I spend time alone on my birthday while the rest of the family is bonding as they shop for me. So, this year when they were planning to shoot out to buy gifts, I told them to stay home instead. And instead of the cake someone was ‘gonna’ bake, just clean up the kitchen. It is what I wanted more. Unfortunately, the promised cleaning never happened.
The only thing I consistently receive on my birthday are apologies.
Perhaps in making everyone’s day ‘special’, I’ve orchestrated it so efficiently that no one realizes real caring and actual effort goes into process. It doesn’t just happen.
It makes me sad. But more importantly, I am concerned they will adopt more of their father’s style than mine in their interactions. Last year, my eldest was rather cavalier with his girlfriend’s birthday.
How do I make them understand that inconsiderations may be only little pinpricks, but they are wounds that hurt? And years of pinpricks leave one bruised and bleeding.
OK, perhaps an infantile obsession, but I always loved seeing my birthday in print. Loved being in school on my birthday so I could write November 19th on my papers and later as heading to notes. Even out in the real world, loved writing it on letters, checks, logs… I mean, it is just the coolest of days. :)
I just always loved my birthday. It was the day I was ‘special’.
Birthdays ROCKED!
So, it’s no surprise when I got married and later had kids, I went all out, even stressed out to make sure they had ‘special’ days. Birthdays are a big deal in our house. Everyone’s birthday but mine. And hence, the post birthday blues.
I know pity parties are attended by one, but, every year I’m left wondering - Where did I go wrong? I raised my kids to celebrate birthdays, theirs, their siblings, their father’s… Why then has it evolved to the point where no forethought is brought into mine?
It was always difficult when the kids were little. Self-absorbed alcoholics don’t plan well. Don’t get cakes when they don’t like cake, don’t decorate and don’t think about taking kids to the store to buy mom presents, at least before the day itself. Every year I spend time alone on my birthday while the rest of the family is bonding as they shop for me. So, this year when they were planning to shoot out to buy gifts, I told them to stay home instead. And instead of the cake someone was ‘gonna’ bake, just clean up the kitchen. It is what I wanted more. Unfortunately, the promised cleaning never happened.
The only thing I consistently receive on my birthday are apologies.
Perhaps in making everyone’s day ‘special’, I’ve orchestrated it so efficiently that no one realizes real caring and actual effort goes into process. It doesn’t just happen.
It makes me sad. But more importantly, I am concerned they will adopt more of their father’s style than mine in their interactions. Last year, my eldest was rather cavalier with his girlfriend’s birthday.
How do I make them understand that inconsiderations may be only little pinpricks, but they are wounds that hurt? And years of pinpricks leave one bruised and bleeding.
Monday, November 17, 2008
In Defense of Thanksgiving
I haven’t pontificated on my blog for a while now, been busy with things. Not sulking over election, promise. Just waiting for everything to get all better. *smile*
So, picking a topic, let’s go to how Thanksgiving seems to be the forgotten holiday. Well, not forgotten completely. We’re not going to forget to take the day off work and stuff our faces. But, more like bowled over. Jeeze, how pushy can the hurry of Christmas get?
Perhaps it isn’t like this in warmer climes, but up here in Ohio, many, take advantage of Indian Summer to put up their Christmas decorations. So, what we have in early November are houses at holiday war. One side will have a house with bright pumpkins and cornstalks on multi-colored, leaf strewn lawns while the other is bedecked with gigantic red and green balls, crimson bows, white wire deer and dazzling strings of lights. I have a hard enough time remembering what month it is without all this decoration confusion.
Christmas commercials begin directly after Halloween. Poor Thanksgiving doesn’t stand a chance. I mean how can it stand up to the advertising budgets of commercial America?
I think what really bugs me is a color things. I’m not done with the fall colors yet. It’s too early to usher in deep greens and reds in a backdrop of white. I love those colors, I love Christmas, but Autumn isn’t over yet! I’m not ready to let go of the oranges, rusty reds and multi-shades of tan. And looking from one to another messes with my equilibrium. Danger Will Robinson! Danger!
So, I’m stubbornly keeping my pumpkins and leaf garlands in the yard even though across the street holiday lights are blazing. Even if we have to hang Christmas lights in the finger numbing cold, not a string will be hung before Thanksgiving is over!!!
So, picking a topic, let’s go to how Thanksgiving seems to be the forgotten holiday. Well, not forgotten completely. We’re not going to forget to take the day off work and stuff our faces. But, more like bowled over. Jeeze, how pushy can the hurry of Christmas get?
Perhaps it isn’t like this in warmer climes, but up here in Ohio, many, take advantage of Indian Summer to put up their Christmas decorations. So, what we have in early November are houses at holiday war. One side will have a house with bright pumpkins and cornstalks on multi-colored, leaf strewn lawns while the other is bedecked with gigantic red and green balls, crimson bows, white wire deer and dazzling strings of lights. I have a hard enough time remembering what month it is without all this decoration confusion.
Christmas commercials begin directly after Halloween. Poor Thanksgiving doesn’t stand a chance. I mean how can it stand up to the advertising budgets of commercial America?
I think what really bugs me is a color things. I’m not done with the fall colors yet. It’s too early to usher in deep greens and reds in a backdrop of white. I love those colors, I love Christmas, but Autumn isn’t over yet! I’m not ready to let go of the oranges, rusty reds and multi-shades of tan. And looking from one to another messes with my equilibrium. Danger Will Robinson! Danger!
So, I’m stubbornly keeping my pumpkins and leaf garlands in the yard even though across the street holiday lights are blazing. Even if we have to hang Christmas lights in the finger numbing cold, not a string will be hung before Thanksgiving is over!!!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Clueless Joe
We've certainly had our fill of Joes this election. Joe six-pack, Joe the Plumber, Joe the Schmoe...
But, what is really bugging me is the Joe that speaks up every election season. The stupid Joe. The Joe who thinks the rich guys are all sticking it to them. All business owners are fat cats out to screw the regular guy. A guy who looks for someone in government to come along and redistribute the wealth. A red-blooded American with latent socialist beliefs.
From this you may deduce I was raised in a white collar home of privilege. Nope, couldn't be farther from the truth. I was raised in a Union home. Dad was, and I suppose still is UAW. My grandfather was UMW. I understand unions. I have benefited greatly from unions. Decent income for the family, good health coverage, car discounts, and great retirement benefits for my parents.
I would love for all of us to have this compensation package. Unfortunately, it was exactly these wages and benefits that drove jobs out of America. It was these unions that looked out for themselves and refused to see the bigger picture that doomed the economy. Of course, they didn't do it alone. Corporate greed definitely had their hands in the mess. But, that topic is adequately highlighted this election season.
Face it, we want to be paid top dollar, have great retirement and health benefits AND not pay a dime more for our goods and services.
Therein lies the rub. We can't have both. If workers get paid more, the costs will rise. And if costs rise in proportion to salaries, are we any better off than we were in the first place?
Sure some businesses could cut costs in their hierarchy to fund raises for Joe, however, over 52% of American jobs are provided by small business owners. These are frequently the people who take no time off, cover for workers when they are sick, do not give themselves raises, cannot afford health care for themselves but are expected to provide it for their employees and have invested their entire financial assets into their business. Their business goes under, Joe looks for another job, the owner is out not only a job, but also his or her life savings and their home.
We have raised our family on a frayed and often snapped shoestring. My husband worked over ten years in jobs where he was given no sick leave. You don't work, you don't get paid. It sucked. But it was a job. He also had his own company where any little profit that eked through went to paying our health care. I know what it is to pay that hefty bill every month.
But no where do I feel the government owes it to me to give me health care. Reform the system? Sure. Come up with a humane socialized health care that won't break the bank. I'm all ears. Investigate how insurance companies do their business, that would be congress doing their job.
But, when we are demanding 'our rights' at least be informed enough to know at what cost these benefits come.
For example. Obama is promising to cut the taxes of the middle class and still fund his programs by raising the taxes of business. My husband did some quick math. Our county has a population of 545,931. If every citizen was given a tax break or rebate of say $1,000, that would be $545,931,000. Let's cut it down. There are 217, 788 households making for $217,788,000 if $1,000 were given to each household.
We have over 12,000 businesses with 12 major employers. Assuming the twelve major employers would take on the brunt of this new tax, that would mean 18,149,000 in additional taxes. Additional. And did I mention three of these employers are non-profit tax exempt hospitals, one is a tax exempt city school district and another a tax exempt state university? That leaves one utility, four manufacturers with two in trade. Dividing the total between these seven employers that gives a additional tax burden of almost 31 million dollars. Who can absorb that and stay in business? And even if it could be done, how are they going to fund it? By passing it on to the consumer of course. Does the consumer ever win when business taxes are raised?
Interesting quote sam spade posted on the Southern Maryland on-line forum -
If a rich person wants more than he has - is it greed?
If a poor person wants more than he has - is it greed?
Really, isn't that the question in nutshell? I've been poor. Financially poor due to choices. We decided to have a parent raise our children and not daycare. It was a choice. Our choice. Why should the government bail us out for that? We live on one income. We've had to pay for health care. But through it all, there have been options available to change our situation. We just made choices to put the intangible needs of family first. Government already has in place generous tax breaks for people of low income and those raising children. Free lunch and breakfast for school age children. Food stamps, educational grants and so many other programs to give a leg up to those in the lower economic bracket.
So, this is one poor person saying, get real. We can't have some Utopian economic system where we all get great wages and benefits and costs remain low enough for all to take advantage of the endless bounty capitalism provides.
People who strive, work hard, invest their money, take the risks and suffer the sleepless nights should not be unduly punished for their ambition.
We need to get away from the 'they owe it to me' mentality. Joe, the rich do not owe you success. Government, quit trying to level the playing field with a track hoe. All you'll accomplish is digging a hole so deep that we will never get out.
But, what is really bugging me is the Joe that speaks up every election season. The stupid Joe. The Joe who thinks the rich guys are all sticking it to them. All business owners are fat cats out to screw the regular guy. A guy who looks for someone in government to come along and redistribute the wealth. A red-blooded American with latent socialist beliefs.
From this you may deduce I was raised in a white collar home of privilege. Nope, couldn't be farther from the truth. I was raised in a Union home. Dad was, and I suppose still is UAW. My grandfather was UMW. I understand unions. I have benefited greatly from unions. Decent income for the family, good health coverage, car discounts, and great retirement benefits for my parents.
I would love for all of us to have this compensation package. Unfortunately, it was exactly these wages and benefits that drove jobs out of America. It was these unions that looked out for themselves and refused to see the bigger picture that doomed the economy. Of course, they didn't do it alone. Corporate greed definitely had their hands in the mess. But, that topic is adequately highlighted this election season.
Face it, we want to be paid top dollar, have great retirement and health benefits AND not pay a dime more for our goods and services.
Therein lies the rub. We can't have both. If workers get paid more, the costs will rise. And if costs rise in proportion to salaries, are we any better off than we were in the first place?
Sure some businesses could cut costs in their hierarchy to fund raises for Joe, however, over 52% of American jobs are provided by small business owners. These are frequently the people who take no time off, cover for workers when they are sick, do not give themselves raises, cannot afford health care for themselves but are expected to provide it for their employees and have invested their entire financial assets into their business. Their business goes under, Joe looks for another job, the owner is out not only a job, but also his or her life savings and their home.
We have raised our family on a frayed and often snapped shoestring. My husband worked over ten years in jobs where he was given no sick leave. You don't work, you don't get paid. It sucked. But it was a job. He also had his own company where any little profit that eked through went to paying our health care. I know what it is to pay that hefty bill every month.
But no where do I feel the government owes it to me to give me health care. Reform the system? Sure. Come up with a humane socialized health care that won't break the bank. I'm all ears. Investigate how insurance companies do their business, that would be congress doing their job.
But, when we are demanding 'our rights' at least be informed enough to know at what cost these benefits come.
For example. Obama is promising to cut the taxes of the middle class and still fund his programs by raising the taxes of business. My husband did some quick math. Our county has a population of 545,931. If every citizen was given a tax break or rebate of say $1,000, that would be $545,931,000. Let's cut it down. There are 217, 788 households making for $217,788,000 if $1,000 were given to each household.
We have over 12,000 businesses with 12 major employers. Assuming the twelve major employers would take on the brunt of this new tax, that would mean 18,149,000 in additional taxes. Additional. And did I mention three of these employers are non-profit tax exempt hospitals, one is a tax exempt city school district and another a tax exempt state university? That leaves one utility, four manufacturers with two in trade. Dividing the total between these seven employers that gives a additional tax burden of almost 31 million dollars. Who can absorb that and stay in business? And even if it could be done, how are they going to fund it? By passing it on to the consumer of course. Does the consumer ever win when business taxes are raised?
Interesting quote sam spade posted on the Southern Maryland on-line forum -
If a rich person wants more than he has - is it greed?
If a poor person wants more than he has - is it greed?
Really, isn't that the question in nutshell? I've been poor. Financially poor due to choices. We decided to have a parent raise our children and not daycare. It was a choice. Our choice. Why should the government bail us out for that? We live on one income. We've had to pay for health care. But through it all, there have been options available to change our situation. We just made choices to put the intangible needs of family first. Government already has in place generous tax breaks for people of low income and those raising children. Free lunch and breakfast for school age children. Food stamps, educational grants and so many other programs to give a leg up to those in the lower economic bracket.
So, this is one poor person saying, get real. We can't have some Utopian economic system where we all get great wages and benefits and costs remain low enough for all to take advantage of the endless bounty capitalism provides.
People who strive, work hard, invest their money, take the risks and suffer the sleepless nights should not be unduly punished for their ambition.
We need to get away from the 'they owe it to me' mentality. Joe, the rich do not owe you success. Government, quit trying to level the playing field with a track hoe. All you'll accomplish is digging a hole so deep that we will never get out.
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